Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
