Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
