I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
