His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
