whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
