If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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