i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
