We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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