I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
