She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize