Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
