and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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