woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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