He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize