she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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