My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
