Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize