Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
