i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
