Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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