I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
