If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
