ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize