I got chris browned last night
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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