If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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