I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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