My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
