Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
