Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
