Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
how does that bad decision feel?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
