I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
