Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
