Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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