Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
