My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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