She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
