I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
