We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
