She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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