You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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