Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
