her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my being single is dangerous.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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