Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
