and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
