I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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