it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
