he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
