he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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