I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
