i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
