It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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