You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
