Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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