Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
