He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
