so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
