Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
please come you make the beer taste better
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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