There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Vodka?
Forever.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
