Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
