he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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