As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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