You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
