he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
