She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize