I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
