i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
