Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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