I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
