Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
