if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
